“And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.” – Genesis 1:3 NIV
I have an affinity for soft candle light. I love how the small flame will reach to corners of the room dispersing the black. The light of a lantern lights the path just ahead of you keeping you focused on the moment at hand. I remember the first Christmas Eve candle light service I attended. I was possibly ten years old. I was mesmerized by the swell of light growing as we each took a small spark from the flame next to us. The soft words of Silent Night sung in reverence to the Christ child.
I find great comfort in religious practice. I love the rich traditions of Catholic and Episcopal churches. The sacrament of the Lord’s Supper allows me to slow down and reflect on what Jesus did for me. Advent and Lent add sacred purpose to holiday seasons steeped in consumerism. These faith practices are ways to detach from the frenetic world and settle into the Holy. While faith is believing before seeing, these traditions are tethers to the world behind the veil. The more life I’ve lived the more stable, complex, and rich my faith has become.
There are numerous ‘High Holy Moments’ that can be savored as we walk this narrow path. I will continue to seek out truth, mystery, and faith in the hidden spaces. The joy of this life is short, but unbelievably rich.
In 2020, our faith – no matter your belief system – has been tested. There has been loss, unraveling of normalcy, and the need to simply keep our heads above water. After eight years as the Assistant Manager of the American Cancer Society Hope Lodge, I found myself without a job. This was compounded by the closing of the facility in early March. There was no solid ending to hold onto. No goodbyes. No closure. The emotions of this tragedy were deeply felt. I allowed myself to feel them and love myself through them. I cannot express what hope and fortitude I apperceived from the unending support of my tribe. The wealth of people who sheltered and encouraged me was beyond measure.
December 5, 2020 would have been our 14th Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony. My communion with soft light and meaningful tradition magnified in this tradition. The week leading up would have been frantic. There would be invites to send, calls to make, social media posts, last minute tweaking of volunteer needs, games to organize, food preparation, and the call to Santa to assure his arrival to the event was smooth. The day of would see a wealth of volunteers, supporters, and former guests flood through the doors. There would have been a few bumps, a lot of laughter, and that ever-nagging fear that no one would show up. In the end, the ceremony would go beautifully, more people would attend than we thought, and the food, entertainment, guest speakers, and Santa would all be a grand hit.
It was a sacred night and everyone felt the power of its magic. My heart felt sad that the hope of this event would not be felt this year. The culmination of the ministry the Hope Lodge is wouldn’t be celebrated. So, I went to our Facebook page, a space I loved updating and managing, and looked at our Tree Lightings in years past. The light of tradition warmed my soul. I felt buoyed by all the extravagant joy and rejoicing that was done in our Hope Lodge. The hurts, fears, and heartbreaks forgotten for a moment of exquisite hope. The fruition displayed in the lighting of our tree, followed by singing Silent Night. The light of this tradition doesn’t get extinguished due to a pandemic. It is carried in the hearts of those who remember. This is the purpose of traditions. A remembering. A gesture of goodness, hope, and light.
I am blessed by my tenure at our Hope Lodge. The many ups and downs dim in comparison to the great and wondrous hope that the Hope Lodge held. I grew personally and professionally. I experienced some of the most tragic and galvanizing times of my existence. I also saw the face of God in those who walked across our threshold. This job will always hold meaning for me. I am ever grateful to have been a part of something bigger than myself. As this chapter closes and another one opens, I will remember our Tree Lighting Ceremony and the light this tradition brought into my life.
On Monday December 14, 2020, I’ll step into my new role as Program Coordinator for the Markey Cancer Center Affiliate Network. The mission still reaches my heart for Appalachia. I will still be working for oncology patients, the beautiful warriors I have grown to deeply love and respect. The challenges will be new and varied. Yet, what a wonderful glorious adventure it will be! And, I will carry the light of my traditions and my faith as I journey into this new chapter.
Sending all my love this holiday season and thinking of all our beautiful guests. May you know you are loved and may it light your path.
Reflection of Providence 