“In the millennia since Christ walked with us on this Earth, we’ve often tried to box up the “wind” [of the Spirit] in manageable doctrines. We’ve exchanged the fire of the Spirit for the ice of religious pride. We’ve turned the wine back into water, and then let the water go stagnant and lukewarm. We’ve traded the gentle dove of peace for the predatory hawk or eagle of empire. When we have done so, we have ended up with just another religious system, as problematic as any other: too often petty, argumentative, judgmental, cold, hostile, bureaucratic, self-seeking, an enemy of aliveness.
In a world full of big challenges, in a time like ours, we can’t settle for a heavy and fixed religion. We can’t try to contain the Spirit in a box. We need to experience the mighty rushing wind of Pentecost. We need our hearts to be made incandescent by the Spirit’s fire.
Brian D. McLaren, We Make the Road by Walking: A Year-Long Quest for Spiritual Formation, Reorientation, and Activation (Jericho Books: 2014), 205
Do you ever feel as if you hanging on by a proverbial thread? I gather data from the climate of modern-day faith & society. The perpetual need to speak without listening, cancel culture, and social media (space where we can set ourselves up as our own demigod) leave a lackluster hewn to the human condition. There is little space for a constructive debate. It traverses far deeper than the adage, “agree to disagree.” Western culture has adhered to a self-righteous belief system to hold our rights and wellbeing over another. We do not consider our vitriolic words as double-edged swords.
As I search the landscape of “ex-evangelical deconstruction” and staunch legalism, I wonder where the heart of the church will land. I grew up in a profoundly legalistic religious system. The damage this had done to me and numerous others is not lost on me. The purity culture, as well-meaning as it might have been, was misogyny in sheep’s clothing. I was deeply resigned that if I even had sexual desire, I was dirty. So, I locked myself away from anything that would cause me to miss the mark and subsequently fall from an unattainable grace. I know women who have kept their bodies “pure” until marriage and struggle with their intimate relationships. Of course, an unsatisfied man will often stray, so keep him satisfied. A beautiful gift created by God has been distorted into a tool of manipulation, fear, and unreconcilable grief.
I’m confident I have been deconstructing all my life, from the first time I read “The Sacred Romance” by John Eldredge and Brent Curtis to stepping outside my comfort and bigotry to see all people as beloved by God.
The fear of hell cannot be the driving force of salvation. In the same breath, we are told that it is a sin to fear. Again, I go back to my struggle of constantly feeling if I missed a step, I was bound for the fiery furnace. This type of thought gagged the life and joy out of my salvation. There isn’t enough oxygen in the room to sustain life.
I continue to search for the personable relationship and adventure that Jesus calls us to. There is justice and precepts that He carries that we should follow, certainly. Yet, I wonder if we truly understand the wonder of Jesus’s words, life, death, and resurrection. I feel we are set in the enemies’ crosshairs, inadvertently ducking and causing others to be injured or even lose their lives. A double entendre is coming from both sides of the table. The word “love” is spread around like napalm, making it look far more like its antonym.
My crisis of faith is disheartening for sure. Yet, I’m shoring up on all sides. As I walk this narrow dusty road with Jesus, I keep asking Him if this way is right? He continually tells me, “His ways are right.” We cannot box God in any more than putting people and sin in neat categories will make us more comfortable. I tend to see the glory more than the wasteland, anyway. If I can hold the grace and mercy God has for me (and many cannot – including myself), then I can hold the grace and mercy God has for humankind. The only absolute of love is to do it – again & again & again! I’m not saying you don’t set safe and healthy boundaries. You have to provide love and sanctuary for yourself as well. However, there is a reason that in almost all of scripture (Old & New), God asks us to take care of the disenfranchised. This is a command, not a request. It isn’t spoken for us to take a superior stance. It is said for us to be humble & willing. Then, there is loving our enemies, contrary to what our preservation heart wants to do.
We cannot hold faith in absolutes. There is so much grey. This world is beautiful, varied, and not everyone thinks like you. This is okay.
Maybe we can learn how to “agree to disagree.” However, it might be better if we learn to love and respect despite not agreeing. Perhaps we can be authentic with our sins and shortcomings before condemning someone else’s. Maybe we can all walk around in other’s shoes and try understanding. Perhaps we can see how God sees, loves, and longs to shelter His creation.
I went on a short walk today and was dancing and singing to LeAnn Rimes’ “Sing Love into the World.”
I pray love into the world
I sing love into the world
I pray love into the world
I sing love into the world…
…Won’t you sing with me now?
LeAnn Rimes, “Sing Love into the World”
I’m someone that can truly see each side of the coin. Yet, it would behoove me to say I am a Christian who is not conservative. I believe in the sanctity and beauty of the life on death row as equally as the one in the womb. I feel a woman’s body is her own and that there are impossible choices that are made, and never lightly. I love the LGBTQ+ community & believe that God does too. I believe in the right, & I love to the ends of my being those who disagree with me. I’m not trying to persuade. I’m trying to grow in my faith.
I don’t want to box the Holy Spirit in. I want to be made incandescent by the Spirit’s fire.
Luke 13 in the Bible shares the heart of Jesus, from His call to repentance, multiple parables, and speaking of the narrow road that few find. The last four verses are some of my favorites:
Jesus said, “Tell that fox that I’ve no time right now. Today and tomorrow I’m busy clearing out the demons and healing the sick; the third day I’m wrapping things up. Besides, it’s not proper for a prophet to come to the bad end outside Jerusalem.
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, killer of the prophets, abuser of the messengers of God! How often I’ve longed to gather your children, gather your children like a hen, her brood safe under her wings – but you refused and turned away! And now it’s too late: You won’t see me again until the day you say, “blessed is he who comes in the name of God.”
Luke 13: 32-35 MSG
Reflection of Providence 